7 things a strong woman should never apologize for

Queen of English
Queen of English
14 kwietnia 2016
Fot. iStock /  g-stockstudio
Fot. iStock / g-stockstudio

It is not easy to be a strong woman. Stereotypically, strong, confident and aware of her needs woman is much more seen as an „unnatural” than an „adorable” person. „Strong” means still „male”. Many of us will even pretend to be so weak, foolish creature, reliant on men’s mercy. Therefore, I’ll beg you with all my heart: Be strong! Please, do show your strength and yes, stop apologizing for what is not your fault. A strong woman only apologizes when she did something that is really worth to be sorry  for. But she’ll never apologize:

1. For making life choices, uncomfortable for others, unacceptable

An unacceptable mismatch between social conventions and all the changes we’ve been going through, all the expectations of other people, fear of offending their feelings: there are so many things that limit us. And this propenisty to judge, to stigmatize, if you had chosen the „unacceptable”,  if you’re going  against the tide. You don’t want to have kids? You don’t want to have more kids? You shack up with your man, and not wish to make it „properly”, to legalize your relationship? You bet on your career development and not wish to start a family? Believe me, be convinced that you’ are the one who chooses the best. You’re the only one who knows what is really good for you.

2. For being able to put her needs first

A strong woman knows that she will not be able to be a good person, the best for the one she loves, without  taking care of herrself, of her needs, of her peace of mind. She understands that she won’t succeed at work, won’t be able to work efficiently, w, without such basic thing as good health ans life balance. A strong woman does not apologize for the fact that she puts her needs first. And she passes this principle to her daughter.

3.  For being able to talk about her sexual needs and expectations

Sex is something natural as much for women as for men. Over the years they made woman fell ashamed and guilty for the fact that we want to enjoy sex life, searching for some new experiences and satisfaction. Female orgasm was a taboo subject. Today we still seem to have some „problems” with the intimate sphere. A strong woman wan’t apologize nor for the fact that she wants to enjoy sex, nor for being able to set the sex boundaries.

4. For  planning her life all by herself

A strong woman  makes decisions about her life, deals with their consequences, takes all the responsibility all by herself. She doesn’t have to ask „the man” for permission. In a good, healthy relationship, based on a partnership, man and woman support each other in their quest for personal and professional development.

5. For being honest and  and saying what she really thinks

Words are the power. A strong woman, in order to communicate what she has to say,  is not afraid to express  her opinions, even (or perhaps especially) for the price of „what people say”. She should never apologize for saying  unpopular or controversial things. Her thoughts  and her life approach are her personal matters. She knows that she has the right to think different.

6. For saying „no”

A strong woman is not afraid to say no. She knows she doesn’t have to apologize for the fact that her refusal can be disappointing for others. She understands that she’ s not responsible for the negative emotions of others and can not be entangled in a manipulative game of remorse and guilt.

7. For having expectations

A strong woman creates a list of accomplishments and personal goals. She’s not afraid to reach for more. She can  breathe deeply and enjoy this life handfuls. She can expect more from herself and from the others. She understands that making  other people happy is not „everything” that matters.

In a women’s lips, the word „sorry” resounds far too often. Let’s end with a sense of guilt and excusing  for our life choices, points of views, for the pursuit of our dreams. Let’s stop being afraid that we will not be accepted. Happiness is to live in harmony with each other.

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Tekst i tłumaczenie: Anna Frydrychewicz


Exercises: 7 things a strong woman should never apologize for

Queen of English
Queen of English
14 kwietnia 2016
silna kobieta cw

1. Uzupełnij. Znajdź odpowiednie słowa./ Fill in the gaps. Find the right words.

Nie jest łatwo być silną. Stereotypowo silna, świadoma siebie i swoich potrzeb kobieta odbierana jest częściej jak jako „coś nienaturalnego” niż godnego podziwu. „Silna” ciągle jeszcze znaczy „męska”. Wiele z nas woli więc wręcz udawać słabe, nierozumne istotki, zdane na męską łaskę i niełaskę. A ja namawiam z całego serca: bądźcie silne! Pokazujcie waszą siłę i przestańcie przepraszać za to, w czym absolutnie nie ma waszej winy. Silna kobieta przeprasza wtedy, kiedy naprawdę popełnia błąd. Ale nigdy nie przeprosi:

It is not easy to be a strong woman. Stereotypically, strong, _________ and _____ of her needs woman is much more seen as an „unnatural” than an ________ person. „Strong” ______ still „male”. Many of us will even ______to be so weak, foolish creature, ______ on men’s mercy. Therefore, I’ll beg you with all my heart: Be strong! Please, do show your______ and yes, stop apologizing for what is not your ____. A strong woman only apologizes when she did something that was really worth to be_____  for. But she’ll never _______:

2. Uzupełnij odpowiednią formą czasownika. / Find the correct verb form.

Za swoje życiowe wybory, niewygodne dla innych, nieakceptowane

Społeczne normy niedopasowane do zmian, które w nas następują, oczekiwania otoczenia, lęk przed urażaniem uczuć innych: tyle nas ogranicza! I jeszcze ta skłonność do oceniania, do stygmatyzowania, jeśli tylko wybierzesz inaczej, jeśli idziesz „pod prąd”. Nie chcesz mieć dzieci? Nie chcesz mieć więcej dzieci? Wybierasz życie w konkubinacie a nie sakrament małżeństwa? Stawiasz na rozwój kariery i nie planujesz założenia rodziny? Uwierz w to, bądź przekonana, że to ty wybierasz dla siebie najlepiej. Tylko ty wiesz, co dla ciebie dobre.

For making life choices, uncomfortable for others, unacceptable

An inacceptable mismatch between social conventions and all the changes we _______ (to go through), all the expectations of other people, fear of offending their feelings: there ______ (to be) so many things that _________(to limit) us. And this propensity to judge, to stigmatize, if you _________ (to choose) the „unacceptable”,  if you __________( to go against the tide). You don’t want to have kids? You don’t want to have more kids? You ______ (to shack up)with your man, and not wish to make it „properly”, to legalize your relationship? You___________ (to bet on) your career development and _________ (not wish to)to start a family? Believe me, be convinced that you’ are the one who________  (to choose) the best. You’re the only one who _________(to know) what is really good for you.

3. Przetłumacz na angielski: /Translate into English:

a. Silna kobieta nie przeprasza za to, że potrafi postawić swoje potrzeby na pierwszym miejscu.

b. Silna kobieta nie przeprasza za to, że umie mówić o swoich seksualnych potrzebach i oczekiwaniach.

c. Silna kobieta nie przeprasza za to, że sama planuje swoje życie.

d. Silna kobieta nie przeprasza za to, że mówi to, co myśli, i że czasem myśli „inaczej”.

e. Silna kobieta nie przeprasza za to, że czasem mówi „nie”

f. Silna kobieta nie przeprasza za to , że ma oczekiwania.

4. Odpowiedz na pytanie./Answer the question:

What does it mean for you, personally, to be a strong, confident woman?

1.

2.

3.

4.

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SPRAWDŹ SIĘ – ODPOWIEDZI (przejdź niżej)

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Odpowiedzi

  1. confident, aware, adorable, means, pretend, reliant, strength, fault, apologize
  2.  ‚ve been going trough, are, limit, had chosen,  are going, are shucking up, bet, not wish to,  chooses, knows
  3.  A strong woman never apologizes for being able to put her needs first

    A strong woman never apologizes for being able to talk about her sexual needs and expectations

    A strong woman never apologizes for planning her life all by herself

    A strong woman never apologizes for being honest and  and saying what she really thinks

    A strong woman never apologizes for saying „no”

    A strong woman never apologizes for having expectations