It is not easy to be a strong woman. Stereotypically, strong, confident and aware of her needs woman is much more seen as an „unnatural” than an „adorable” person. „Strong” means still „male”. Many of us will even pretend to be so weak, foolish creature, reliant on men’s mercy. Therefore, I’ll beg you with all my heart: Be strong! Please, do show your strength and yes, stop apologizing for what is not your fault. A strong woman only apologizes when she did something that is really worth to be sorry for. But she’ll never apologize:
1. For making life choices, uncomfortable for others, unacceptable
An unacceptable mismatch between social conventions and all the changes we’ve been going through, all the expectations of other people, fear of offending their feelings: there are so many things that limit us. And this propenisty to judge, to stigmatize, if you had chosen the „unacceptable”, if you’re going against the tide. You don’t want to have kids? You don’t want to have more kids? You shack up with your man, and not wish to make it „properly”, to legalize your relationship? You bet on your career development and not wish to start a family? Believe me, be convinced that you’ are the one who chooses the best. You’re the only one who knows what is really good for you.
2. For being able to put her needs first
A strong woman knows that she will not be able to be a good person, the best for the one she loves, without taking care of herrself, of her needs, of her peace of mind. She understands that she won’t succeed at work, won’t be able to work efficiently, w, without such basic thing as good health ans life balance. A strong woman does not apologize for the fact that she puts her needs first. And she passes this principle to her daughter.
3. For being able to talk about her sexual needs and expectations
Sex is something natural as much for women as for men. Over the years they made woman fell ashamed and guilty for the fact that we want to enjoy sex life, searching for some new experiences and satisfaction. Female orgasm was a taboo subject. Today we still seem to have some „problems” with the intimate sphere. A strong woman wan’t apologize nor for the fact that she wants to enjoy sex, nor for being able to set the sex boundaries.
4. For planning her life all by herself
A strong woman makes decisions about her life, deals with their consequences, takes all the responsibility all by herself. She doesn’t have to ask „the man” for permission. In a good, healthy relationship, based on a partnership, man and woman support each other in their quest for personal and professional development.
5. For being honest and and saying what she really thinks
Words are the power. A strong woman, in order to communicate what she has to say, is not afraid to express her opinions, even (or perhaps especially) for the price of „what people say”. She should never apologize for saying unpopular or controversial things. Her thoughts and her life approach are her personal matters. She knows that she has the right to think different.
6. For saying „no”
A strong woman is not afraid to say no. She knows she doesn’t have to apologize for the fact that her refusal can be disappointing for others. She understands that she’ s not responsible for the negative emotions of others and can not be entangled in a manipulative game of remorse and guilt.
7. For having expectations
A strong woman creates a list of accomplishments and personal goals. She’s not afraid to reach for more. She can breathe deeply and enjoy this life handfuls. She can expect more from herself and from the others. She understands that making other people happy is not „everything” that matters.
In a women’s lips, the word „sorry” resounds far too often. Let’s end with a sense of guilt and excusing for our life choices, points of views, for the pursuit of our dreams. Let’s stop being afraid that we will not be accepted. Happiness is to live in harmony with each other.
Tekst i tłumaczenie: Anna Frydrychewicz